Office Memories

“We have to share an office?”

“No,” I corrected her, “we get to share an office!”

The windowless space had two desks, each on one end and facing the wall, with the backs facing the door. Not very Feng Shui.

We turned the desks so that they were facing each other, touching, and in position so that entrants to the small room couldn’t immediately see our computer screens. We often kept the door closed anyway.

“He’s such a douche.”

“I know. Did you hear him in the meeting today?”

“The fat jokes? Oh I know. He’s disgusting.”

“Yeah, have you heard him explain why he won’t hire Asian people? It’s unbelievable.”

“Ignorant, bigoted fuck.”

“I hate him.”

“Me too.”


“We have to move offices again?”

Our ideal little office arrangement hadn’t fared so favorably once it was obvious that we were enjoying it so much. Due to “expansion” (hiring one more person) we had to move offices again. This time, however, he was right across the hall. And a new open door policy was instituted.

“This is going to suck.”

“Nah. You have IM on your computer right?”

Smiling, “sweet call.”

dude, can you hear him on that call
o i know, what an ass
omg did u see his wife come in today
do you think she knows what an ass he is?
she’s got the iq of a pencil eraser and thinks he’s rich so she doesn’t care
wasn’t she a beauty pageant girl
yeah, and they dont sleep in the same room
what a loser. i hate him
me too


“It’s my turn to drive, right?”

“Yeah, are you ok changing while you drive?”

“Hell yeah.”


The beach was only a ten minute drive from the office so we always had at least 40 minutes to lay in the sand.

“This kicks ass…”

“Yeah it does.”


“Dude, he scheduled my meeting at 8. He’s totally going to fire me.”

“Yeah he is. That sucks.”

“That totally sucks. I don’t want to be fired.”

“Wait! Don’t get fired! Write a resignation letter right now. Write it! And say your reason is that you’re going back to school for your masters. No one can look down on that!”

“Holy shit that’s brilliant! Then he’ll have to do the whole congratulations meeting for me in front of everyone and wish me luck and maybe even have a goodbye party for me! Suckaaaaa!”

Work was never the same without her.


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Amyella (pronounced Amy-ella) is a pseudonym for Amy Levitt, a fitness and health food fanatic and a beach girl at heart. She has been sharing her sometimes nonsensical thoughts and self-amusing stories online since 2002 and currently spends a good deal of her time wrangling her 90 pound Rottweiler and 60 pound Boxer. Which is quite a show.
The origin of the name Amyella.

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