It’s Not Her Fault

Sooooo Kima kinda gave me a swollen, split eye last night. It’s better today, although it hurts like hell and is kinda bruised.

We were playing because YOU ARE SO CLEAN YES YOU ARE WHO’S A CLEAN GIRL and she was very excited. I usually play rough with her anyway, but I’m also usually a little more cognizant of her being WAY FUCKING MORE POWERFUL THAN ME.

So she was laying there on the couch and I crawled up next to her and wrapped myself around her. No big deal, pretty standard evening for us (god my life is lame.) Then I start playing the “chase my hand” game, where I scratch the couch with one hand, she goes for it, then I use the other hand and she turns directions and goes for that one. Then I try faking her out, going back and forth so she doesn’t know which hand to attack.

You see where this is going yet? Normally I do this sitting up and away from her. Last night I was laying directly beside her, one hand above her head, the other down by her butt. As she was mouthing the hand above her head I started taunting her with the hand by her butt and she hurled her body into a 180 degree spin to get it.

Somewhere in the middle there she head-butted me. Hard. Really fucking hard. Hard enough that I blacked out for a few seconds, got my bearings and then realized my eye was quickly shutting on its own. And bleeding.

Oops.

I so sorry Mama. You still yub me???

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AMYELLA

Amyella (pronounced Amy-ella) is a pseudonym for Amy Levitt, a fitness and health food fanatic and a beach girl at heart. She has been sharing her sometimes nonsensical thoughts and self-amusing stories online since 2002 and currently spends a good deal of her time wrangling her 90 pound Rottweiler and 60 pound Boxer. Which is quite a show.
The origin of the name Amyella.

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