Stop Wishing It Away

Do you think it’s weird that my 4 mile run today didn’t make my throbbing back feel better? I thought so, too.

I woke up in the middle of the night in major discomfort and it’s persisted all day long. On the right side of my spine, right above my butt. Throbbing. Annoying. Not excruciating but really, really uncomfortable.

Do you prefer whiny post to boring post? Apparently those are your choices these days. I guess I could talk about my feeeeelings. If you want.

Lately I feel like I’m just wishing my days away. Because I am. The entire month of March I kept thinking “I can’t wait for March to be over!” and now I look at the calendar and can’t wait for April to end.  Like I’m waiting for some new life to start. Not that my life isn’t great – because it is! My life is pretty great. I think it’s because I was so dead set on moving to Colorado this summer (and just to reiterate – haven’t given up hope!! Still hoping! Still trying! But being realistic.) I don’t want to live in Virginia any more.

Ok, I NEVER wanted to live in Virginia. Just to be clear.

But I do live here and I’ve learned to embrace the great stuff about living here (D.C! My cousin! Proximity to family!) and hey! I met Patrick here and that’s beyond rad. It makes it worth the fact that I cry during those California commercials. You know, the ones where Maria Shriver all “People say we work with a bunch of characters” and it’s Disney. Or “it’s a dirty job!” and some girl is getting a mud mask. Because that’s exactly what my life was like in California. Ha! Also, I can’t watch any commercials or TV shows based in San Diego. Also because of the crying mixed with a little bit of anger and a hefty helping of bitter. Good to see I’ve let that go.

Where was I? Oh yeah, made the best of it, have a great life, worth it and all that. But now I am really ready to move. I’m ready for US to move, to thank the state of Virginia for what it is, for what it’s added to our lives, and then to flip it off on the way out. And maybe moon it.

I guess the wishing the days away – it’s not that I’m wishing my life away. It’s that I’m ready to game plan. We’ll know one way or another by June if we’re staying or going. So I guess that means I can’t wait for April to end, for May to be behind us and for June to just get here. Because one way or another we’re moving this summer. If it means we’re moving to a better place in VA, well, then at least I can get excited about that (HOUSE. With a YARD. And a neighborhood!)

And I will do my damn best to not wish a whole year away, but instead enjoy where we are while we’re here and keep making the best efforts and decisions we can for our family.


1 Response to “Stop Wishing It Away”

  1. 1 Jacey April 12, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    I can really relate to your post although I happen to like living here in Virginia. My husband and I lived in Atlanta for 11 months. It would have been longer except that I threw a hissy fit and insisted that we move back to Florida. I hated Atlanta. Not that Atlanta is horrible. There are people who live there who actually like it. But for me, at that time in my life, it the last place I wanted to be.

    When we decided to move to Virginia, I hoped I wouldn’t have the same reaction. So far, so good. Although I do get very misty eyed when I hear “Margaritaville” and think about my old lifestyle with weekends at the beach and trips to the Keys. Waaahhh!

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Amyella (pronounced Amy-ella) is a pseudonym for Amy Levitt, a fitness and health food fanatic and a beach girl at heart. She has been sharing her sometimes nonsensical thoughts and self-amusing stories online since 2002 and currently spends a good deal of her time wrangling her 90 pound Rottweiler and 60 pound Boxer. Which is quite a show.
The origin of the name Amyella.

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