Tried To Donate

Hey! Have I mentioned I’m moving?! Right!

As of right now I’m not sure what I have more of: stuff that I’m moving, or stuff that I’m donating. I’m not even kidding.

Most of the stuff that I’m donating is being picked up by the Vietnam Vets and consists of kitchen stuff (LOADS of kitchen stuff), clothes, shoes, a laser printer, an HP scanner, bedding, side tables, and wall art. It’s a lot.

I also have some doggie stuff that I need to get rid of: a large, airtight food storage container (with measuring scoop), two plastic bowls with rubber bottoms to prevent skidding, a nylon travel bowl, nail clippers, and a 22 inch collar. I decided to call the local Rottweiler Rescue agency to see if they needed any of the stuff. The founder emailed me back right away, enthusiastically accepting. Great!

We set up a date and time – SHE suggested the date and time – and meeting place (a nearby Petco). All was confirmed and on that day I arrived.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And she never showed.

Frustrated, I came back to work and emailed her to ask if she forgot about our meeting.

She never replied.

How annoying is that? So I am currently listing the items on Craigslist, but if anyone needs some doggie stuff let me know and I will send it to you for just the cost of shipping. I’d love for it to go to a good doggie home!

Kima Is Three!!

Dear Kima,

I cannot believe it’s been three years! You have grown so much and are such a good, loving, loyal girl. You are also a pain in the ass. I love you unconditionally.

You are very smart. Even Daddy joked the other day that while Easton is the well behaved one (and, um, that is undeniable) you are definitely the smart one. You are learning all the new rules very quickly. No begging. No jumping. No pulling on the leash. No dogs in the kitchen during meal prep. (Probably Mama should have taught you these things by now. You are spoiled.) Also: get the goose. How do you know which stuffed toy is the goose? You just do. You are smart.

We’ve been through a lot, sweet girl! Mama struggled and fought and sort of gave up but then  fought again and here we are: happy. Outrageously, unbelievably happy!

It’s going to be a big year for you, Bean. We’re moving in less than three weeks and all sorts of changes will be put in place. You get to see Daddy every, single day (and so do I! Mama is probably more excited about this than you are.) You get to play with Easton every, single day. Daddy caught you two snuggling on the couch in the middle of the night when you thought we were sleeping. He snapped a picture for me with his camera phone. It’s really cute.

You’ll have to be in your cage for a little bit every day. I think you’ll be ok with this, since you no longer fear the cage and actually walk in voluntarily (and then wait for your treat as a reward!) This makes me very proud. I haven’t gotten over how cool it is.

There will be daily walks. At least three of them, maybe four. Yeah, you’re going to have to learn how to do your business on a schedule and on command. No more doggie door. I think the extra exercise will be good for the both of us.

Everyone kept telling me that you’d calm down when you turned three. Um, that hasn’t happened yet. You are still full of insane energy and your propensity for jumping on people hasn’t died down. We are actively working on that. It’s not nice. You are too big to jump on people.

You’ve filled out a good bit, coming in at about 86 pounds or so. Maybe a little more, it’s hard to get a good scale reading when your butt is wiggling so hard I swear you’re about to propel yourself off the ground! You still think you’re a lap dog though, and you nuzzle your big head under my chin. You stretch out on the bed and kiss my face over and over and over and then roll over so I will rub your belly.

You are a good dog. The best dog. I would do anything for you. I love you.

We made it, Booper. I know I wouldn’t have without you.

Love,

Mama

Kima Is Awesome

Last night we were getting ready to leave to go watch the fireworks, Easton dutifully walked into this cage with no coaxing and I called Kima over and said “get in your cage” and…she did.

!!!!!

She just walked right in her cage and stood there waiting for her treat. I closed the door and came back with a handful of rewards and damn near split my face open from smiling so hard. HP actually had to remind me to “shhhh” because I was screeching “GOOD GIRL! GOOD GIRL!” at ridiculous volumes.

I such a proud Mama.

We celebrated Independence Day by taking the metro into Rosslyn and watching the fireworks come up over this view:

(I did not take this amazing picture, I found it online and it’s copyrighted by Andre Roberge)

Pretty amazing, no?

We eventually made it home where I proceeded to pass out cold on the couch. I mean, out like a light. HP sat there on the couch with his two sleeping dogs to his left and his sleeping girlfriend to his right. He had to make two attempts (or so I’m told) before I woke enough to get up and go to bed.

I am such a hot date. Don’t be jealous, fellas.

I Love Winning

Texting conversation that just occurred:

Her: Currently eating a fucking delicious Balance bar as fuel for my run in 2 hours

Me: nice! currently drinking wine and downloading a “beach playlist”

Her: You win

Planning Is Awesome, And I Am Good At It

If you’ve been reading for any extended period of time in the past eight or so years, you know that I like to plan and make lists.

AHAHAHAHA UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR!

I also love sharing my plans because for some reason it gives me great satisfaction in sharing (read: bragging).

Here are some things I currently have very well listed:

-Shopping for this evening at Target and the grocery store (grocery store list has been made twice: the first time to simply list all the items I need for the week, the second time to re-order everything I need for the week by aisle of the store)

-Tonight: workout, closets finalized into clothes for donating versus packing, more weeding, list more stuff on ebay (glassware anyone? Do you need brand new in box glassware?) Also, wine drinking and talking on phone with HP.

-Tomorrow: morning workout, HP’s arrival, pictures of furniture for craigslist, Verizon to look at new phones (he doesn’t know that yet!)

-Saturday: special breakfast (yes, I planned a special breakfast for our July 4th celebration and I might get crazy enough to post it with macros!), walk dogs to tire them out, dinner in Chinatown, D.C. for fireworks. Drinking.

-Sunday: HP’s and my standard Sunday morning workout, cooking for the week.

-Trip to the beach on July 18: iPod speakers purchased, “beach playlist” started, packing list made, driving directions pulled (even though we’ll be using the navigation in my SUV).

-July 30, 31: move. Aug 1, 2: unpack and organize. More on that as it approaches.

-Thanksgiving: menu. Shut up. I’ll tell you later. I might need something else to write about in November.

It’s Time I Accept It

Wednesday nights are date night and I got home last night, tinkered around on the interwebosphere, talked to HP for a while (because apparently spending 8 hours at work emailing and then having dinner together wasn’t enough interaction for us) I finally went to bed. I slept great, got up at 6 with the intention of running on the treadmill at home. I went down and did 2 miles but the whole time my mind was racing about this work deck and stuff that had to be done around the house for the move. So after 2 miles I got off the treadmill and got so much done! It was only a little after 630 so I had time to be productive before I had to shower and get ready.

So! I cleaned the dog turds from the yard, then I weeded a ton (still have more to do) because after the rain this week it’s like a jungle out there! Easton would be buried! Then I took out the trash (weeds and all), brought up some laundry, answered an ebay question (selling some small stuff on ebay), cleared out a ton of stuff from under my bathroom sinks sorted by donate / trash, then finally showered and got dressed and here I am! If I didn’t have this deck to do I would’ve done the whole “work from home” thing today because I was so on a roll…

I think it’s time I finally come to terms with the fact that I might be a morning person. Shit.

EAS Myoplex Deluxe Nutrition Shake

Any of you use EAS Myoplex Deluxe? I have a box that still has 12 packets of the “Chocolate Cream” flavor and I’ll never use them! Here are the stats:

Per Packet:

320 calories
4 g fat
27 g carb
8 g fiber
53 g protein

You can google is to look up allll the stats for the various vitamins and minerals added.

If you’re interested I’ll send them to you for just the cost of shipping. Let me know.

The Weekend Of FAIL

Let me tell you about my weekend. The weekend that was supposed to be spent in Massachusetts, with the Herd. The weekend that was supposed to be the first trip that HP and I took together. The weekend of FAIL.

A cab picked us up Thursday at 5:10 for our 6:45 flight (the airport is about 3 miles away), we arrived with plenty of time, checked our bags and headed to the gate. The boards indicated that the flight was on time and we thought we had a big win because our gate was directly across from the bar. We sat and had a drink, watching the board which kept saying that the flight was on time. At about 5:45 we noticed that they weren’t showing our flight listed at the gate anymore and, assuming we had a gate change (how cute of us!), HP went to check the board to get the new gate information. The flight was canceled because of bad weather in Boston. We saw the line growing for customer service as everyone was trying to get rescheduled on the next flight. So we looked at the board to see when the next flight was (10:00 that night) and went directly to that gate. The gentleman there explained that the flight was full and there were already 20 people on the standby list.  Fuck that noise. We re-booked on the next available flight – Friday afternoon at 12:15.

We went down to baggage claim (because we had checked our bags) and asked for our bags to be pulled so they wouldn’t go to Boston, we wanted to have our stuff that night. The woman said ok but it would take a couple hours, to come back at about 10. We took a cab home and drank a bottle of wine, chuckling at our crazy misfortune, changing the arrangements with the dog sitter, rental car company, and lunch plans with my family for Friday. We figured out how to cram in all of our original visits in a shorter period of time and had a few more drinks. Then we called another cab to come get us to go back to the airport to get our bags…which never got pulled and were already in Boston.

That was a frustrating conversation with the same woman who personally took our information and promised to have our bags pulled. She explained “sometimes they don’t get the message.” And then HP punched her in the face. Metaphorically, of course.

So another cab ride home, feeling frustrated, but whatever right? Friday morning we got up and went to CVS to buy makeup for me and a toothbrush for him. We showered and got ready, this time driving ourselves to the airport. All online information said the flight was on time, everything was good to go.

We got to the gate (right next to the one from the night before), still said on time, and grabbed some lunch and a drink at the bar. Then we heard the announcement that our plane was supposed to come from Chicago, which was having weather problems. We were delayed. Then delayed again, then delayed again. Finally we got in line for customer service to find out just what was going on- there were about 15 people in front of us. All of a sudden they announced that flight was also canceled! Then about 60 people flooded customer service behind us. Took another hour or so to get through the line. Next flight out: Saturday. We were supposed to leave Sunday morning. So we bagged the whole trip, they refunded our money.

Now we had to deal with our bags that were in Boston already. Customer service sent us back down to baggage claim (where we had experienced such competence the night before!) We had to fill out a form to put in a formal request to have them flown back. At this point we were pretty much losing it – it was about 3 in the afternoon and were OVER being at the airport. We were told they’d call us when the bags arrived and we’d have to come back to Dulles baggage  claim to get them. We made bets on how many days it would be before we saw any of our belongings again.

We finally left the airport paying for our parking ticket inside at the machine (like you’re supposed to), waited for a shuttle to take us to the truck, and got in exhausted. As we were attempting to exit I put the paid ticket in at the exit gate and it said “processing error”. I tried again. It said “processing error”. I tried one more time and this time the machine just laughed at me and gave me the finger. At this point there was a line of cars behind us and the gate won’t open. We had to get everyone to back up so we could go through the booth with the person. The guy retrieved my ticket and took 15 minutes to figure it out, never saying a single word to us. We just sat there stewing in what was becoming a mounting rage of frustration. Finally the gate opened, I screamed out of there (hitting the curb on the way out, oops) and drove in silence on the way to the mall so HP could get a clean shirt.

Done with the mall, we finally headed home.

At this point in the day my realtor has been calling me for the past six hours leaving messages that there’s an URGENT piece of paper that MUST be signed and faxed back TODAY. When we get back from the mall I log into my email and look at the form. It’s one release form (that I’ve signed a billion times). But…my printer is broken. I can’t print it. I call the realtor and she explains that THE PLANET WILL EXPLODE IF YOU DO NOT SIGN AND FAX THIS PAPER TOOOOODAAAAYYYYY. THE FATE OF HUMANITY RESTS ON THE SIGNING OF THIS RELEASE FORM.

Defeated, I went to Staples and bought a printer. I was not polite to the check out clerk who left me waiting at the register for 10 minutes. I finally got the printer home and took it out of the box so I could set it up and save the world by printing my release form.

The printer is missing a piece.

And then I died.

You’ll be proud to learn that I never curled into fetal position and cried for my mommy. Instead, I downloaded the form onto a jump drive, took it to Kinkos, printed it, signed it, faxed it.

While I was there I got a call that our luggage had arrived at the airport (it’s about 9:00 now). I got home, we showered and got dressed for dinner and a movie and decided to go pick up the luggage after that.

We went to dinner and then headed across the street to the movie theater. The theater had a blown speaker that crackled all through the previews. Someone went to complain to management and returned saying that they claimed it would be fixed for the movie.

The movie starts and we immediately learn that they “fixed” the blown speaker by turning off the surround sound so the sound is only coming from the front speakers. MOVIE THEATER FAIL. We got a refund and went to pick up our luggage.

Then we went home and drank more.

You might be pleased to learn that the rest of the weekend was actually pretty great. We returned the printer, went shooting, went to see the movie at a different theater, got in a great workout at the gym, and met up with my cousin and aunt for dinner.

Perhaps later I will tell you some tales from people watching at the airport, but for now I’m simply exhausted just re-counting that tale.

Because They Have No Concept Of Time

HI HO, HI HO, IT’S OFF TO MASS WE GO!

Headed out this evening to visit the Herd as well as get to see my dad, grandfather and sister. We also get to see HP’s grandfather and aunt, so it is going to be a very busy weekend!

Only packing one pair of gym clothes and if we actually get in our one planned workout I’ll be impressed. We’ve got a pool party to go to on Friday night, at which time we’ll be freezing our balls off because I don’t think it’s even going to hit 70 degrees all weekend. Saturday is a BBQ up in Maine.

The doggies have a sitter for the weekend and, as HP pointed out, I’m pretty sure they’ll forget about us five minutes after we’re gone. When we come back they’ll be all “OH HAI WAS YOU IN THE OTHER ROOM?”

Clearing Out

Ok, so here’s the deal. I’ve kind of given up on the nice things. I really like the idea, I just can’t bring myself to blog every day anymore. Please feel free to berate me for my “giving up”, “quitting”, etc.

Once your done with that, let me tell you about my surroundings right now: kitchen appliances are everywhere, boxes of glassware/stemware are everywhere, large green trashbags filled with items for donation, everywhere. I’ve sold just a couple of things on craigslist, have posted a bunch more, ebay listed a couple small things, and at this point I’m just ready to GIVE EVERYTHING AWAY I DONT WANT TO LOOK AT IT ANYMORE.

In four days HP and I will be on a plane headed to Massachusetts for three days of Herd and family whirlwind. Here’s hoping the weather holds out at least for Friday night’s pool party!

Kima is lying on the floor right now in a post-Easton hangover. I’m pretty sure that tearing up the carpet is as exhausting as it looks. I cannot wait for them to have each other to keep themselves entertained 24/7.

Oh, and in case your hot-vampires-fucking radar is on the fritz: TRUE BLOOD SEASON PREMIERE TONIGHT